Books That Heal Kids: stand up for oneself

Showing posts with label stand up for oneself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stand up for oneself. Show all posts

Book Review: Be a King - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's Dream and You

Author: Carole Boston Weatherford
Illustrator: James E. Ransome
Interest Level: Ages 5 and Up

From the Book Jacket: You can be a King. Stamp out hatred. Put your foot down and walk tall. You can be a King. Beat the drum for justice. March to your own conscience. It's not always easy to stand up for what's right, but everyone has the power to make the world a better place. Inspired by the most important moments of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's life this book shows a new generation of children how to follow in Dr. King's footsteps. You can take charge. You can change the world. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: I love this book so much. It's so perfect for kids. It's about standing up for everything that is right, doing your best, and lifting up others. The illustrations are very powerful and go so perfectly with the words on each page. I've been recommending this one to all of our teachers. 




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Book Review: My Friend Maggie


Author/Illustrator: Hannah E Harrison
Interest Level: Ages 5 and Up

About This Book: A sweet and heart-tugging story about bullying, friendship, and fitting in. Paula and Maggie have been friends forever. Paula thinks Maggie is the best—until mean girl Veronica says otherwise. Suddenly, Paula starts to notice that Maggie is big and clumsy, and her clothes are sort of snuggish. Rather than sticking up for Maggie, Paula ignores her old friend and plays with Veronica instead. Luckily, when Veronica turns on Paula, Maggie’s true colors shine through. 



Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is a powerful story about exclusion and how harmful it can feel. As a school counselor I have witnessed these types of power plays among students. It is very hurtful when a student tells another student not to play with a certain person. Veronica puts down Maggie by body shaming and saying that she is too big. It's a putdown I have heard other students use. I have not used a story like this before so it was a good discussion when we read it. This book fits perfectly into my curriculum around including others and accepting differences. I also like how the victim in the story ends up being the upstander. 

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Book Review: A Bug and a Wish



















Author: Karen Scheuer
Illustrator: Kalpart
Interest Level: Ages 4-7

From the Book Jacket: When Tyler is teased by the other boys, his good friend, Danae, encourages him to give the boys A Bug and a Wish. When Tyler finds a ladybug and a dandelion seed, he is convinced that this is what Danae means. As his friend helps him learn the true meaning of her advice, Tyler soon discovers the solution to his problem. 






Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is such a creative way to teach younger kids how to use an 'I Message' towards an unwanted behavior. I can't wait to put this into practice with our students as we begin to work on conflict resolution strategies. 

An example of how to use the phrase:
It bugs me when you make fun of my name and I wish you would stop.

You can always change the word wish to something a little more assertive to need or want. But I think the book does a good job of helping build language for kids to access when they need a strategy to stop a mean behavior.  

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Book Review: Willow Finds a Way


















Author: Lana Button
Illustrator: Tania Howells
Interest Level: Ages 4 and Up

From the Book Jacket: In Willow's class, Kristabelle was the boss. Willow wants to go to Kristabelle's fantastic birthday party. So even though she'd rather not, Willow sits at Kristabelle's table for snack, claps for her tricks on the climber, and wears pink, Kristabelle's favorite color. But when her bossy classmate un-invites some children from her party, Willow finds a way - a quiet but sure Willow way - to say "no."

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Dear Bossy Kids: watch out!! Because this book empowers kids to stand up to unkindness. Willow Finds a Way starts out with a birthday party where everyone is included. Sounds great! However, when kids don't do everything Kristabelle says - exclusiveness enters the scene. She immediately starts crossing kids names off of her public birthday list. Very hurtful. But no one wants to stand up to her mean ways. The author uses lines like: You're not my friend anymore. These words really sting. And I have heard that phrase (emotional weapon) used by kids.

Willow overcomes her fears of standing up to Kristabelle and decides to cross her own name off the birthday list. Soon all the kids follow suit and do the same. The consequences of social isolation cause Kristabelle to reconsider her ways and she apologizes by tearing up the list and making things right. Children struggling with a bossy friend will not only relate to this story but be able to find a way to assert themselves in a manner that makes them feel safe and not controlled by mean behavior.

Read my Willow's Whispers review here .

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Book Review: Freda Stops a Bully


Author/Illustrator: Stuart J Murphy
Book Website: I See I Learn
Interest Level: K-2

From the Book Jacket: Freda loves her new pink shoes. But when she wears them, a boy at school teases her. What can Freda do to make the bully stop?

Why It's On My Bookshelf: We are really trying to steer kids away from running straight to an adult when they are dealing with a put down. Instead we want them to first try and handle it themselves if it falls under the category of small stuff. We do a lot of teaching about the difference between a small and big problem. Freda Stops a Bully offers some great strategies for kids to shutdown the beginnings of a bully problem on their own. This book is DEFINITELY going to be a great tool to empower our kindergarten through second grade students. Check out the problem solving steps below. 


  



Check out the rest of the I See I Learn series HERE

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Book Review: The Weird Series

Weird! Dare! Tough!
by Erin Frankel, illustrated by Paula Heaphy
Book Website: www.theweirdseries.com
Publisher: Free Spirit
Interest Level: K and Up

True-to-life stories of bullying told from all perspectives: the role of the target, the bystander, and the person doing the bullying.

These three books tell the story of an ongoing case of bullying from three third graders’ perspectives. Luisa describes being targeted by bullying in Weird! Jayla shares her experience as a bystander to bullying in Dare! And in Tough!, Sam speaks from the point of view of someone initiating bullying. Kids will easily relate to Luisa, Jayla, and Sam, as each girl has her own unique experience, eventually learning how to face her challenges with the help of friends, peers, and caring adults. The books may be read separately or as a set; readers will enjoy tracking details that carry over from one book to another. Each book concludes with "activity club" pages for kids, as well as information to help parents, teachers, counselors, and other adults reinforce the books' messages and foster dialogue with children.

Weird! (Book 1)
Luisa is repeatedly teased and called "weird" by her classmate Sam, even though she is simply being herself—laughing with her friends, answering questions in class, greeting her father in Spanish, and wearing her favorite polka-dot boots. Luisa initially reacts to the bullying by withdrawing and hiding her colorful nature. But with the support of her teachers, parents, classmates, and one special friend named Jayla, she is able to reclaim her color and resist Sam’s put-downs.

Dare! (Book 2)
Jayla feels threatened by her classmate Sam, who has bullied her in the past for her "nerdy" love of astronomy and stars. Sam is now bullying Jayla’s friend Luisa, and she enlists Jayla to participate. Jalya reluctantly joins in but soon realizes it is wrong. With the help of caring adults and friends, Jayla comes to sympathize with Luisa and finds the courage to dare to stand up to Sam and put an end to the bullying.


 Tough! (Book 3)
Sam is concerned about keeping things orderly and "cool" at school. She thinks people need to have a tough skin in order to fit in and withstand others’ meanness and lack of cooperation. Sam teases her free-spirited classmate Luisa and enlists a friend, Jayla, to help. But when Sam is confronted by a concerned teacher about her bullying, and Jayla turns on Sam and befriends Luisa, Sam begins to show some heart and rethink her treatment of others.

Why They Are On My Bookshelf: These books are already so dear to my heart. Author Erin Frankel and illustrator Paula Heaphy have created a masterpiece through the viewpoints of the victim, bystander, and bully. I had the opportunity to read this unique series to students before the school year wrapped up. They were all captivated by the stories of three girls involved in bullying. It was obvious through our discussion their hearts and minds were very moved. Everyone has had a role or involvement in bullying and kids could see themselves in the books.

As a school counselor, I want to reach students at a deeper level when it comes to the serious issue of school bullying. This perfectly crafted story is the vehicle to do just that. I can't tell you how impressed I am with this series. The first day I read them, I knew I had something special in my hands. Students are given valuable insight into how to get out of a bullying situation and make positive changes through confidence, courage, and kindness. I cannot wait to reread these in the fall. They are truly awesome and so impactful!

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Chrissa Stands Strong Movie

About the Movie
Chrissa Maxwell and her family have just moved to snowy Minnesota, and Chrissa has to start at a new school mid-year. Will she fit in? Can she find new friends?

On her very first day, Chrissa is seated with three girls who greet her with teasing and tricks. The "Mean Bees" really know how to sting—they bully Chrissa and the other kids in class, on the bus, online, and even at swim club. Chrissa can’t seem to make any new friends—not even with the girl who seems to need a friend the most. When the biggest bully becomes Chrissa’s swimming rival, the taunting finally goes too far.

Can Chrissa find a way to stand strong and stop the bullying?

Movie Trailer


I absolutely love this movie and have been showing it the past couple of years to students. If you are a parent, teacher, or counselor I really encourage you to watch this movie with your kids. There are so many great lessons in it about bullying.

There are also great curriculum materials that go with the movie for parents and teachers to use as a guide. Oh, and it's FREE. Double score on that one!

PS. This is not a movie for JUST girls. The boys in my school loved this movie just as much and were not scared away because it is from American Girl. They don't even notice that. In fact, I had a few boys come up to me in the hallway and excitedly ask, "When are we going to finish the Chrissa movie?"


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Book Review: Noni Says No

Author: Heather Hartt-Sussman
Illustrator: Genevieve Cote
Publisher: Tundra Books
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

From the Book Jacket: Noni can do all sorts of things: tie her own shoelaces, recite the alphabet backwards, even walk to her friend Susie's house all by herself. But what Noni can't do is say no. When she finally finds her voice, the consequences are not what she - or the reader - expects. Many children will root for Noni as she learns that you can stand up for yourself and still be a good friend.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Lots of kids put up with bad behavior in their friendships because they are afraid if they say "no" they will hurt the other person's feelings and lose them as a friend. As we read, a student pointed out, "Well, if they don't want to be your friend anymore because of that - they weren't your true friend in the first place." Ahhh....music to my ears!

Noni can't say no to Susie because she fears there will be a confrontation or maybe it will end the friendship. Susie on the other hand has no problem saying no. In fact, maybe she needs to learn to be a little more balanced and say yes. It even gets to the point where Noni allows Susie to cut off all of her hair! I kind of appreciated the extreme example. If you don't say no, you can be putting yourself in an awful situation. But Noni finally reaches her limit and has to say no. Before I turned the page to show Susie's reaction we talked about how a good friend should respond when they are told no. So do Noni's fears come true? No, they don't. Susie simply says, "Okay." Just like a good friend should.

This will be in my personal home library as well as at school. It's important to me to raise a kind child, but I worry that in the process some kids can become pushovers. A well balanced child should be empowered to say yes and no in social situations.

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Book Review: You're Mean, Lily Jean!


Author: Frieda Wishinsky
Illustrator: Kady MacDonald Denton
Publisher: Albert Whitman
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

From the Book Jacket: When Lily Jean moves in next door, sisters Carly and Sandy are happy to have a new friend join their game. But Lily Jean changes everything. She decides they'll play house and orders Carly to be the baby. When they play king and queen, King Lily Jean tells Carly to be the royal dog! Tired of being bossed around, Carly comes up with a way to teach Lily Jean a lesson. With Sandy's help, can she turn a bully into a friend?

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Well, my 2011 favorites list just grew again! I am very passionate about the name of my blog because of books just like this one. I spend hours hunting for the ones with teachable moments that help children learn important social skills. Every K-3 class I read this to benefited in their friendships, sibling relationships, and helped curb bullying behavior.

There is a whole lot of bossing around going on in the story. Lily Jean is on a power trip and her behavior got a ton of disapproval from students. Carly is picked on because she is the little sister and Lily Jean wants to have Sandy all to herself. But what blessed my heart was how sweet and caring big sister Sandy is to Carly. She sticks up for her. It was a great stopping point to talk about how we need to look out for our siblings and make sure they are being treated with kindness. Carly sticks up for herself too and lets Lily Jean know she can hang with her and Sandy if she is nice. That's their friendship rule for Lily Jean. Stop being bossy and start being nice or go play alone. Lots of kids need to hear this truth. It's okay to say NO to bad behavior. Looking forward to reading this one to my own kiddo.  

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Book Review: Willow's Whispers



Author: Lana Button
Illustrator: Tania Howells
Publisher: Kids Can Press
Activities: Storytime Suggestions 
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

From the Book Jacket: Willows words came out in whispers. They were just too tiny to hear. Willow's voice, soft and shy as a secret, goes unheard by everyone at school and causes her no ends of troubles. Having to drink orange juice at snack time when she had asked so nicely for apple is just one disappointment.

After a night of wishing, thinking and planning for a way to make louder words, Willow wakes the next morning with the perfect idea: a magic microphone! But although she fashions it from the sturdiest recyclables, her beglittered invention doesn't last the school day. Will Willow find another way to make herself heard?



Why It's On My Bookshelf: I get a lot of requests from parents, teachers, blog followers etc asking for book suggestions to help kids overcome shyness. There's not a lot of good ones out there on the topic. But there is a really GREAT one out there.....Willow's Whispers. This was a discovery a couple of months ago. As I started to read the first pages, it almost seemed too good to be true - because I love the way it's written from beginning to end.

This was a powerful read for the shy kids and even the ones who are not. First of all, the shy kids got to hear DIRECTLY from me in the most validating way through Willow's story. I introduced the words...fears, confidence, inner strength, brave.....oh the list goes on. Also, it's okay to be shy. But when can our shyness get in the way of our own happiness and become a problem? This is what happens to Willow....she is misheard, gets bullied, has trouble making friends, and misses out on classroom opportunities. We quickly figured out her shyness was getting in the way. Good Stuff! And a wonderful way to introduce strategies for kids to practice.

For those kids who are not shy it was a good lesson in sensitivity and to be supportive to those children who do feel shy at times. Reach out to them, have understanding, and try to help them feel comfortable. I cannot wait to read this one again next year. This is always a sign of how much I adore a new book. My recommendation list just got a lot stronger in the shy department.

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Book Review: Raj the Bookstore Tiger


Author: Kathleen T. Pelley
Illustrated by Page Keiser
Interest Level: Ages 4-8
Click here for Discussion Activity Guide

From the Book Jacket: Being a bookstore "tiger" is lots of work. Raj has to patrol the storerooms, keep an eye on the front window (while sun basking, of course), and greet customers with a hearty meow. But Raj loves his job, especially story time with the children.

Things change when Snowball comes on the scene. The cranky cat's snide remarks cause Raj to doubt his own tigerness. So Raj is forced to figure out if he's just an ordinary kitty-cat after all...or if, just maybe, it's Snowball who's got it wrong.



Why It's On My Bookshelf: It is such a great feeling when you feel your best self. It's a fill you up happy state called high self-esteem. But there is nothing worse when it all of a sudden plummets. And why did it plummet? WHAM - you got knocked down by a put down. This is what happens in one of my new favorites Raj the Bookstore Tiger. Another cat named Snowball takes over his turf by using put-downs and bully behavior.

I see this happen in school ALL the time. A student arrives in the morning all cheery and ready to learn and then I see them at their last recess looking absolutely broken. Whoa. What happened? A lot of times it's negative comments or mean words they received at one point during their day from another student. Just like Raj they feel withdrawn and a bit hopeless... like they want to disappear. Any power they once felt they had - poof - it disappeared. Enter one of my favorite words - EMPOWER. Raj teaches kids to stand up for themselves, don't believe in the put-downs, and guard your self-esteem. You have the POWER to not allow your self-esteem to plummet in the first place. I get excited teaching kids this stuff!

Something else I liked about this story is how Snowball and Raj didn't remain enemies but they became friends. It didn't end with Snowball being condemned as the bully and Raj as the hero. It made them equal and showed the possibility of healing a situation even when a major hurt has been caused. Stories that bring characters together are ones I relish reading to kids. Ask your students to look around the room at each other...who do they need to have healing with? This book will give them inspiration to do so.

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:


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Book Review: Stand Tall Molly Lou Melon

Author: Patty Lovell
Illustrator: David Catrow
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

About This Book: Author Patty Lovell has created the perfect "imperfect" character in little girl Molly Lou Melon. She's shorter than short, with buck teeth, a voice that sounds like a bullfrog being squeezed by a boa constrictor, and quite the clutz. But none of that gets her down because grandma keeps telling her, "Believe in yourself and the world will believe in you too." And little miss Molly Lou Melon lives by those words and happily sees her "flaws" as gifts. But things change when she starts a new school. She becomes the bully target of Ronald Durkin who tries to put her down every chance he gets. But grandma's words of self-esteem live strong in Molly Lou Melon. Ronald eventually finds out, this little tiny gal does not waver. Maybe he is the one with the "flaws"? Stand Tall Molly Lou Melon is a shining example of "Be Yourself." The illustrations are comedic, colorful, and very entertaining.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: A+  Yep, you heard me. This book gets an A+ from the students and me. Molly Lou Melon is a "hot mess." I say that with such love and adoration. There are certain books I depend upon to help me teach the concept of self-esteem. This one is a winner. I see kids being bullied, put-down, and made fun of (I know, sad) at school. Most of them are not "built" to take this kind of cruelty. Are any of us really? We teach kids how to say "NO" to bullying, but are we teaching them how to keep their confidence and self-esteem intact? There is a silent emotional aftermath bullying can cause. Kids can walk away emotionally scarred. My biggest fear is when children start to believe the put-downs being said. Molly Lou Melon teaches kids to not let it bring you down but to "Stand Tall." This is a fabulous read and Molly's letter to grandma on the last page is the perfect ending. If you are looking for a great story to teach self-esteem and confidence, look no further. It is difficult to teach those concepts at an early age - this will surely help you!

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Book Review: Blue Cheese Breath and Stinky Feet - How to Deal With Bullies

Author: Catherine DePino
Illustrated by Bonnie Matthews and
Charles Beyl
Interest Level: Ages 6-11ish

From the Book Jacket: Gus nudged his friend. "Want to meet someone with blue cheese breath and stinky feet? Hey, Blue Cheese Breath, give me your homework so I can copy it." I looked into Gus's mean green eyes...

Steve has to do something about Gus. But what? He doesn't know how to make Gus leave him alone. He's afraid to ask for help. And he's afraid things will get worse if he tells. When his parents find out anyway, Steve is surprised to feel relieved. And when they help him come up with a plan to send Gus on his way, he knows he can do it. The next time Gus tries to bully "Blue Cheese Breath and Stinky Feet," he is in for a big surprise!

Why I Wrote This Book: From the Author: I wanted kids to know that they could do something about bullying and that they are not powerless and alone. The title shows how kids can make up silly, senseless names to hurt other kids. The plan to help kids deal with bullies is something every child can try. It’s important to remember that every bullying episode needs an individual plan geared to that event. This plan is a starting point that every child can use. Check out all of Catherine's books at her website

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Okay, DO NOT be thrown off by the title of this book. And yes, when I read the name to the students they also give me an incredulous look. I actually like that they are confused by the title. Because what starts as an incredulous look quickly turns into looks of rapt attention. As we dive into the story, the students are right with me. The main character, Steve, is a representation of what I see a lot of children doing - hiding that they are being harassed or bullied. Steve hides this pain from his parents. "What's wrong? Mom asked. Nothing, I said." Eventually a teacher becomes aware of the bullying and steps in by alerting Steve's parents. They empower him with 'The Plan.' They brainstorm, role play, and come up with a list of strategies that Steve can do to deal with the bully. My favorite part is when Steve's dad talks about 'Power Words'. Good stuff. Just like Steve, I see a lot of kids getting targeted and harassed. If you are a parent, teacher or counselor use Blue Cheese Breath and Stinky Feet as a tool to give kids the life skills needed to deal with bullying. You'll appreciate having this book on your shelf.


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Book Review: Just Kidding

Author: Trudy Ludwig
Illustrated by Adam Gustavson
Interest Level: Ages 7-10


About This Book: A joke that has a sharp edge to it can cut you to pieces. That’s what D.J. finds out from his encounters with Vince, a smart-aleck classmate whose biting humor is more hurtful than funny. With the help of his dad and teacher, D.J. learns how to stand up to put downs and make healthier friendship choices.

A beautifully illustrated story, Just Kidding captures the truth of harmful teasing when children hide behind the words “just kidding” after treating others in embarrassing, hurtful or mean-spirited ways.

A great resource for children and all who work with them, Just Kidding includes useful tips, discussion questions and additional information to help young readers understand that one-sided fun really isn't much fun after all.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: What a fantastic book. I don't know how many times I have heard after a put down has been delivered, 'I was just kidding!' or 'I was just playin'!' I have used Just Kidding in multiple fashions. It's a great book to help students not be targets. We've got too many students out there who are not aware they are purposely being targeted. It's also a great way to 'call out' those kids who are using the words 'just kidding' to get out of trouble and not have to apologize. In one class discussion, the kids decided that saying 'Just Kidding' to someone is a double put down. They are so right on, kids are smart! I also like how the father role plays strategies that are similar to the book Simon's Hook. This is another Trudy Ludwig HIT with kids, to your shelf pronto!


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Book Review: My Secret Bully

Author: Trudy Ludwig
illustrated by Abigail Marble
Interest Level: Ages 5-11


About This Book: A touching, inspirational story targeted for 5 to 11 year olds, My Secret Bully instantly draws young readers into Monica's world where she is bullied by a friend and learns how to cope and thrive. Relational aggression is an act of emotional bullying hidden among tightly knit networks of friends. Instead of using knives and fists to bully others, emotional bullies employ relationships, words, and gestures as their weapons of attack. Emotional bullying is often dismissed as a normal rite of passage, but research shows it is as harmful as physical aggression, with devastating, long-term effects.

Name-calling, humiliation, exclusion, and manipulation are some bullying tactics Monica's friend Katie employs. Monica learns to face her fears of betrayal and social isolation and reclaims her power from the bully with the help of a supportive adult - her mother. Included in this wonderful resource for children, parents, teachers, and counselors are helpful tips, discussion questions, and additional information.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Every school counselor, teacher, and parent needs to read My Secret Bully to their child or student. I have a HOOKED audience when I read this book because a lot of kids can relate to the story. There is a lot of bullying (relational aggression) going on in friendships. Sadly, kids think it's normal in friendships to give each other the silent treatment, to be nice one day and mean the next, or be in an all out war against another child. What they learn through the story, is it may be time to re-examine their current friendships. They may also need to re-examine their own behavior. Is this going on in their friendships? And if yes, how do they stop it?  I constantly have kids come to my office asking if they can borrow My Secret Bully  because they'd like to share it with their parent. This has been a helpful resource to end sneaky quiet bullying. Most importantly, it encourages our youth to not keep hurtful behavior a secret.

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Book Review: The Recess Queen

Author: Alexis O'Neill
Illustrator: Laura Huliska-Beith
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

From the Book Jacket: Mean Jean was Recess Queen and nobody said any different. Nobody swung until Mean Jean swung. Nobody kicked until Mean Jean kicked. Nobody bounced until Mean Jean bounced. If kids ever crossed her, she'd push 'em and smoosh 'em, lollapaloosh 'em, hammer 'em, slammer 'em, kitz and kajammer 'em...until a new kid came to school...

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Trying to find books dealing with bullying in younger grades is often a frustration of mine, until I discovered The Recess Queen. The little girl on the cover looks like the meanest baddest bully you have ever seen. Based on the title and the cover illustration alone, I was sold. As I read through the story at home, I was expecting the book to teach strategies on how to deal with mean behavior at recess. But, The Recess Queen uses a different take on bullying. The strategy is to turn the bully into a friend (and we all know how hard it is to respect someone when they are disrespecting you) with kindness. Yes, there is a moment of standing up for oneself during the story, but it ends with kindness. I really appreciate the author using another child to turn Mean Jean's behavior around. It's been impactful in our K-2 grades. The illustrations are awesome and the kids love all the rhyming. I suggest this book to help children see the bully through a different perspective.

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