Book Review: Don't Need Friends

Author: Carolyn Crimi

Illustrator: Lynn Munsinger 

Interest Level: Ages 4-8

From The Book Jacket: There's a new dog in the junkyard, and boy, is he ever grouchy! He seems the perfect new friend for surly, grumbling Rat. But the two animals are only interested in shouting at each other. "Don't you come near me!" barks Dog, and Rat mutters back, "Fine with me. Don't need friends, don't need 'em at all!" But as this crusty duo soon discovers, everybody needs a friend. Especially during a bitter winter in a junkyard where warmth is hard to find - and a foot-long salami sandwich is a near miracle. Endearing and sassy, this uplifting story of the importance of companionship will put a smile on even the grumpiest of faces.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: There is a bigger message than the importance of having a friend in this book. I didn't figure this out until my third or fourth reading. It started with a new question I posed, "How could Rat and Dog have prevented being so angry in the first place?" We all agreed they had a loss in their lives causing their anger and sadness. But what should we do when we feel like that? Take it out on everyone around us like Rat and Dog or talk about our feelings? When my students get to hear how important it is for their feelings to be validated and figure out a better way to cope. 

So I sort of went a different direction with this book, but you can also focus on the importance of friendships and why we need them. The kids also LOVED hearing Rat and Dog's dialogue back and forth. Because behind the anger, we all knew they actually cared about each other. 

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Book Review: Two New Howard B Wigglebottom Books

Howard B. Wigglebottom Learns It's OK to Back Away
Author: Howard Binkow
illustrated by Susan F. Cornelison
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

From the Book Jacket: This fun and entertaining illustrated picture book shows children how to handle anger issues and back away from conflicts. The story teaches important skills through humor and real life situations with which young children can immediately identify. There are several suggestions for lessons and reflections at the end of the book. This is the fifth in the award winning, teacher endorsed Howard B. Wigglebottom series.  

Why It's On My Bookshelf: As the school year progresses and new friendships are formed between students something else starts to form....conflicts. And they don't always end nicely. Anger can really mess the whole thing up. So this is the time of year I start teaching A LOT of lessons on how to deal with your anger without hurting other kids. Howard B Wigglebottom Learns It's OK to Back Away is new to my shelf and fits in beautifully with my lessons on learning to get calm and walk away from situations. It's also a good way to demonstrate self-talk. Howard uses the phrase, "Stop, it's OK to back away." Really like that....calming statements work wonders!

Howard B. Wigglebottom and the Monkey
on His Back: A Tale About Telling the Truth 
Author: Howard Binkow
illustrated by Susan F. Cornelison
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

About This Book: Even though Howard's conscience tells him lying is wrong - he chooses to lie anyway - why not? It's so easy and he can get away with it most of the time. Soon he realizes he feels sad and uncomfortable with himself. How can he make this bad feeling go away?

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Oh happy day!! A new book about honesty and the MAJOR problem with lying!! I only have a handful of books addressing this issue. Newsflash: 99.9% of kids know lying is a big NO NO. But all of a sudden they find themselves in a chronic pattern of dishonesty. That's why I dig the metaphor of the monkey (so get your monkey props ready) on the back. Because lying can feel like a horrible burden being carried around. After many incidents of lying Howard starts to feel plain awful about himself. To the point where he can't sleep because of the stress of his bad choices. It's not until he makes a brave decision to tell the truth that the monkey (bad feelings, guilt) leaves. I really love the message at the end....lying makes a person feel completely unhappy. You may be fooling the people around you but deep down you know the truth - and have to live with that knowledge. Whoo! Good stuff.

Check out more Howard goodness at The We Do Listen Foundation

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Book Review: Mouse Was Mad (Guest Blog Post)

Since starting my blog, I've made so many wonderful connections with many amazing people who also share a deep passion for childrens books. One of those amazing people is Barbara Gruener, a fellow elementary school counselor. Read her guest blog on one of her favorites...Mouse Was Mad.

Author: Linda Urban
Illustrated by Henry Cole
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

Why It's On Barbara's Bookshelf: From the moment you open Mouse Was Mad, you know the adorable little Mouse in Linda Urban's treasure is clearly very angry, but you never really know why. I love that about this tale, because the author leaves it open to possibilities. Start this read-aloud out by showing the cute illustrations of Mad Mouse on the inside of the front cover and pose the question, "What do you think Mouse is SO mad about?" I think you'll be surprised at what your little listeners say while you gain insight into what kinds of things make them mad. Be ready for some crazy responses; I was shocked when one of my kiddos said, "Someone has probably called him an idiot again." Ouch!

But what's the best way to be mad? Bear stomps. Hare hops. Bobcat screams. But Mouse? When he attempts to take his friends' lead, he just can't get it right. His rage grows as he tries to rid himself of the unpleasantness of his anger. When he finds the way that works best for him - getting perfectly still - he discovers he might be pretty good at managing anger after all.

The story, as well as the watercolor, colored pencil, and ink illustrations by Henry Cole, are cute and funny, filled with the kind of light-hearted playfulness that young kids especially enjoy.

Mouse's story is so incredibly cute and full of the entertaining playfulness that kids (and adults like me!) enjoy. Your students are likely to catch on quickly to the repetition as the enraged little rodent attempts to mimic the bear by stomping or be like the bobcat and get it out with a good scream. Students may even get a good laugh when he lands, over and over again, in a "mucky mud puddle." But that's not my favorite part. What grabbed me about this gem is the built in anger-management skills our little learners can use long after the read-aloud is over.

Mad lasts until it's done, right? I used this book in small group as a springboard for a "What-works-for-you?" discussion about how to get over being mad. How each friend resolves his anger makes for a wonderful discussion about what technique might work best for each student. In the end, Mouse gets still, breathes deeply, then craves a bubble bath, so we talk about the calming effects of deep breathing and warm water.

Activity:
I give each student a small bottle of dollar-store bubbles that we blow as we practice taking deep breaths. The deeper and more controlled the breath, the bigger the bubble, a simply way to perfect an effective anger-management strategy. You could also get some bubble wrap and encourage students to pop each bubble individually to help their "angries" disappear.

Finally, talk with your students about other anger-management techniques they've used. What works, how does it help, and why? Expect answers like exercise, talking it out, writing it down, punching a pillow, taking a time-out, screaming. Validate these healthy choices for when anger chooses them. Then teach them this little ditty using the music from The Adamms' Family:

When I get mad (snap, snap), When I get mad (snap, snap) -

Here's what I do, to get me through, when I get mad (snap, snap).

I practice my deep breathing, I slowly count from one to ten.

I talk it out or exercise, 'til I am glad again!

For enrichment, encourage students to Insert other ideas into the two "strategy" lines and write another verse. 

Enjoy!

Barbara Gruener is an elementary school counselor at Westwood Elementary. Barbara is a published author whose work has appeared in magazines such as Teaching Tolerance, Teaching K-8, and Daughters. She also has an IMPRESSIVE web page called The Counselor's Corner and writes for the website Character Counts!   I can only imagine how blessed the teachers, parents, and kiddos feel to have her as their counselor!

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Book Review: Anh's Anger

Author: Gail Silver

Illustrated by Christiane Kromer

Interest Level: Ages 4-9

From the Book Jacket: "Who are you?" asked Anh. "And how did you get into my room?" "I'm your anger," said the creature. "You brought me here."

This enchanting story gives children and caregivers a concrete practice for dealing with anger and other strong emotions. Anh, a five-year-old boy, comes to know his anger when they dance, play, sit, and breathe together, creating a space for Anh to resolve an earlier conflict with his grandfather. The vibrant multi-textured collages illustrate the connection between the characters and their environment and express the wide range of emotions present in the story.

Ahn's Anger can help children learn to acknowledge and understand the causes of their own strong emotions, and ultimately feel safe expressing themselves and accepting accountability for their actions when appropriate. The story also provides caregivers a model of being calm and compassionate with children's anger.

"Anh's Anger reminds us that anger is part of all of us and that mindful sitting and breathing can help transform it. Both adults and children will benefit from learning how to change an unhappy situation into a joyful one." —Thich Nhat Hanh   

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Do you remember when you were a child and were angry about something? Do you remember what you did to get rid of your anger? Did an adult help you? My mom would ask me to "retire" to my room for a cool down. I remember lying on my bed, listening to music, being still with my breath....this book reminded me of those times. It's going to come in handy if you need to help teach this skill.

"You're upset," said Grandfather. "Please go to your room and sit with your anger. I'll come in when you're calm and able to talk." I love that it models the adult giving an appropriate calm response. When I'm dealing with an ANGRY kid I first have to find my inner calm before I even open my mouth.

In Anh's Anger the child asks, "How do I sit with my anger?" As a parent, teacher, or counselor - that question is your IN. I asked this question to students when we finished reading. They answered it in many different ways. Anh uses breathing as his calming technique. Empower your child to come up with techniques to let their anger go. Put this one on your shelf, it's not just a message for kids - it's for everyone.  

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Book Review: I Call My Hand Gentle

Author: Amanda Haan
Illustrated by Marina Sagona
Interest Level: Ages 4-9

About This Book: In a book about empowerment and choice, an unidentified narrator catalogs some of the wonderful things a hand can do: pick up things, throw, hold, write, draw, push. Fluid, expressionistic illustrations in Day-Glo colors, some full page, some small and square, add potency to the brief words. After exploring what hands can do, the narrator moves to bigger issues--honorable behavior and choice ("I choose not to steal, push, hurt"), with the accompanying illustration, in garish hues, on a background of orange and yellow flames. The book concludes as the narrator recounts good choices (using a hand to pet, cuddle, tickle, and share), which leads to the final statement, "So I'll call my hand gentle." An elegantly simple lesson that will work well at home and in the classroom.


Why It's On My Bookshelf: I've had a lot of success with this book in the younger grades. It is a simple and concrete message. We can use our hands to help or hurt. It's a choice. How will you choose to use your hands? How will you choose to solve your problems? I often read I Call My Hand Gentle a few times throughout the school year. Kids need a lot of reinforcement from adults to choose a non-violent way to deal with problems. I love this activity a teacher did with her students. Go get this wonderful book for your shelf.

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Book Review: Finn Throws a Fit!

Author: David Elliott
Illustrated by Timothy Basil Ering
Interest Level: Ages 2-5

About This Book:
Today, Finn does not like peaches.  He doesn’t like anything at all.  He is just plain grumpy!  He slams doors, yells, cries, stomps his feet.  His temper is so huge that when he does these things they have disastrous effects.  His tears flood the house.  Lightning flashes when he yells.  It’s an earthquake when he stomps his feet.  And then it is over.  Readers find out why he was cranky, and now?  Now, he’d like a peach please.

For any parent who has ever survived toddler tantrums, this book hits the mark perfectly.  The drama of the fit itself is right on, cranked up to the ultimate level just as every tantrum feels.  For me, the best moment of the book beyond that charmer of a first page is the end of the fit which ends with this line:

“It lasts until it doesn’t.”

Exactly.  Perfectly and succinctly put.

Elliott’s writing is very simple and yet dramatic.  The short sentences on each page make this a perfect book for toddlers who just may be capable of this sort of tantrum.  Ering’s art is delightfully wild, filled with stormy clouds of emotion.  Done in charcoal, oil paint and grease pencil they work very well in both the sunny parts of the book and the dramatic.  A perfect choice for toddler story time, you could have them yell, stomp, and more while reading.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Temper tantrums - a parent's worse nightmare! Finn's body language in the book is PERFECT. It's a really good reflection of what a child looks like when they are pouting, angry, and throwing a fit. Read the reviews on Amazon to fully appreciate the impact of Finn Throws A Fit. If you want to make an impact on your toddler's behavior and encourage them to use their words - get this one on your shelf.

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Book Review: The Recess Queen

Author: Alexis O'Neill

Illustrator: Laura Huliska-Beith

Interest Level: Ages 4-8

From the Book Jacket: Mean Jean was Recess Queen and nobody said any different. Nobody swung until Mean Jean swung. Nobody kicked until Mean Jean kicked. Nobody bounced until Mean Jean bounced. If kids ever crossed her, she'd push 'em and smoosh 'em, lollapaloosh 'em, hammer 'em, slammer 'em, kitz and kajammer 'em...until a new kid came to school...

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Trying to find books dealing with bullying in younger grades is often a frustration of mine, until I discovered The Recess Queen. The little girl on the cover looks like the meanest baddest bully you have ever seen. Based on the title and the cover illustration alone, I was sold. As I read through the story at home, I was expecting the book to teach strategies on how to deal with mean behavior at recess. But, The Recess Queen uses a different take on bullying. The strategy is to turn the bully into a friend (and we all know how hard it is to respect someone when they are disrespecting you) with kindness. Yes, there is a moment of standing up for oneself during the story, but it ends with kindness. I really appreciate the author using another child to turn Mean Jean's behavior around. It's been impactful in our K-2 grades. The illustrations are awesome and the kids love all the rhyming. I suggest this book to help children see the bully through a different perspective.

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