Books That Heal Kids: bystanders

Showing posts with label bystanders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bystanders. Show all posts

Book Review: Red

Author/Illustrator: Jan De Kinder

From the Book Jacket: In this poignant story, a girl finds it funny when her classmate starts blushing on the school playground. Her friends laugh along with her, but one student takes the teasing too far. Torn between her sympathy for her classmate and her fear of the bully, the girl must make a difficult choice. This heartfelt book will inspire readers to find the courage to take a stance against bullying and show compassion towards others. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This has become a new favorite book of mine when talking to kids about how harmful teasing and bullying can become. The child who starts the problem ends up being the one to make the whole thing stop. This is a great story of how it is so important to not stay silent and also to take responsibility and make a wrong a right - especially if you created the problem. Love this one!

A Link to This Book: 

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Book Review: Be Kind

Author: Pat Zietlow Miller
Illustrator: Jen Hill

From the Book Jacket: When a young girl named Tanisha spills grape juice all over her new dress, her classmate wants to make her feel better and remember that Mom always says, "Be kind." But what does it mean to be kind?

As the child ponders everything from asking a new girl to play to standing up for someone being bullied, this moving and thoughtful story explores what kinds is, and how any act, big or small, can make a difference - or at least help a friend. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is such a lovely story on the incredible power of kindness. The story centers around another child witnessing unkindness. From that moment, she starts to think of how important daily kindness is when it comes to all of our interactions with one another. Through empathy she does something to bring joy to the child who was originally hurt. 

I love this book so much. One of our school rules/standards is "BE KIND" so this fits right in with what we are trying to teach children. It was refreshing to see this book and I will be using it TONS in the beginning of the school year. 

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Book Review: I Walk With Vanessa - A Story About a Simple Act of Kindness

Author/Illustrator: Kerascoet

From the Book Jacket: Vanessa is the new girl in school. A boy is not very nice to her. But a girl helps Vanessa - and stands up for what's right. This is a simple but powerful picture book about how the actions of a single person can inspire an entire community. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: It only takes one person to change things. In this wordless picture book a child named Vanessa is on the receiving end of mean behavior. What she doesn't know is someone witnesses the unkindness and comes to her rescue later. By being an upstander she brings all the children together in a positive movement. I loved this uplifting book and it is at the top of my list to share with students as a reminder that we all have personal power to better each others lives.  

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Book Review: Be a King - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's Dream and You

Author: Carole Boston Weatherford
Illustrator: James E. Ransome
Interest Level: Ages 5 and Up

From the Book Jacket: You can be a King. Stamp out hatred. Put your foot down and walk tall. You can be a King. Beat the drum for justice. March to your own conscience. It's not always easy to stand up for what's right, but everyone has the power to make the world a better place. Inspired by the most important moments of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's life this book shows a new generation of children how to follow in Dr. King's footsteps. You can take charge. You can change the world. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: I love this book so much. It's so perfect for kids. It's about standing up for everything that is right, doing your best, and lifting up others. The illustrations are very powerful and go so perfectly with the words on each page. I've been recommending this one to all of our teachers. 




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Book Review: We're All Wonders

Author/Illustrator: RJ Palacio
Interest Level: Ages 4 and Up

From the Book Jacket: Auggie knows he's not an ordinary kid. He does plenty of ordinary things. He feels ordinary. He just doesn't look ordinary. Growing up as an ordinary boy with an extraordinary face isn't easy, but Auggie is a wonder. He and his trusty sidekick, Daisy, play ball, eat ice cream, and use their imaginations to soar through their days together. They know it's not just Auggie who's different. Everyone is different, and everyone is a wonder - if only they could see it. 

Featuring the beloved hero from the worldwide bestselling sensation Wonder, this original adventure written and illustrated by RJ Palacio taps into every child's longing to be seen for who they truly are. 






Why It's On My Bookshelf: I am a huge fan of the book Wonder so I was of course beyond excited to see the picture book version of it. You are going to love it! This will be a great addition to my bullying curriculum. I can easily use this across all grades. I like the message that there is room on Earth for all of us - even with our differences. Kindness and acceptance is what helps us move past exclusion and judgment. So happy about this AMAZING find. Choose Kind. 

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Book Review: My Friend Maggie


Author/Illustrator: Hannah E Harrison
Interest Level: Ages 5 and Up

About This Book: A sweet and heart-tugging story about bullying, friendship, and fitting in. Paula and Maggie have been friends forever. Paula thinks Maggie is the best—until mean girl Veronica says otherwise. Suddenly, Paula starts to notice that Maggie is big and clumsy, and her clothes are sort of snuggish. Rather than sticking up for Maggie, Paula ignores her old friend and plays with Veronica instead. Luckily, when Veronica turns on Paula, Maggie’s true colors shine through. 



Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is a powerful story about exclusion and how harmful it can feel. As a school counselor I have witnessed these types of power plays among students. It is very hurtful when a student tells another student not to play with a certain person. Veronica puts down Maggie by body shaming and saying that she is too big. It's a putdown I have heard other students use. I have not used a story like this before so it was a good discussion when we read it. This book fits perfectly into my curriculum around including others and accepting differences. I also like how the victim in the story ends up being the upstander. 

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Book Review: Red

Author/Illustrator: Jan De Kinder
Interest Level: Ages 4 and Up

About This Book: In this poignant story, a girl finds it funny when her classmate starts blushing on the school playground. Her friends laugh along with her, but one student takes the teasing too far. Torn between her sympathy for her classmate and her fear of the bully, the girl must make a difficult choice. This heartfelt book will inspire readers to find the courage to take a stance against bullying and show compassion towards others. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: I'm starting to focus even more on the bystanders as part of our bully prevention at my school. They are a group that needs empowerment and given the permission to do something when they witness the mistreatment of others. It's a story with really impactful illustrations and words. I was so excited to see this new title. Definitely a difference maker!





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Book Review: The Smallest Girl in the Smallest Grade

Author: Justin Roberts
Illustrator: Christian Robinson
Interest Level: Ages 4 and Up

From the Book Jacket: Hardly anyone noticed young Sally McCabe. She was the smallest girl in the smallest grade. But Sally notices everything - from the twenty-seven keys on the janitor's ring to the bullying happening on the playground. One day, Sally has had enough and decides to make herself heard. And when she takes a chance and stands up to the bullies, she finds that one small girl can make a big difference. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: I've been waiting for a book like this. It only takes one person, doesn't matter who they are, to make a really big difference. An awesome difference. When we talk to kids about being bystanders it's so important to share it's really about leadership. Sally is a great example of bravery, courage, and leadership. A bystander who refuses to keep quiet. I notice bystanders are often silent about bullying not because of fear of retaliation but they've become desensitized to what they are seeing. So when unkind acts happen - it becomes normalized. Lets help stop that cycle. 

This book is going to be in HEAVY rotation in my bully prevention lessons. GET A COPY!

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Book Review: Leave Me Alone

Author: Kes Gray
Illustrator: Lee Wildish
Interest Level: K -3

A Note From the Publisher: A little boy is feeling sad because every day he has to face a bully. But this story’s little boy also has friends. A frog, a cat, a rabbit, a cow, and other animal friends insist on helping him, even after he tells them: “There’s nothing you can do for me/ There’s nothing you can say.” Fortunately, he is mistaken, because the next time the bully approaches, they all join with him and shout, “LEAVE HIM ALONE!” And it works! The bully turns around and goes away. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Originally I saw this book posted on Pinterest and thought how did I miss this book? This might seem like a really quick read but there is a lot of power behind the story. It empowers the victim and the bystanders when a mean situation is going down. I think a lot of kids will relate to the feeling of being powerless. Hate having to write that but it's true. There are some kids in my school who just "put up with it." But I have a whole lot of kids who are witnessing it and can PROTECT that child. In the story, there are animals who represent the bystanders. I'm thinking I'll have fun with this book and bring in LOTS of stuffed animals for kids to use in role plays.


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Book Review: Each Kindness

Author: Jacqueline Woodson
Illustrator: E.B. Lewis
Interest Level: Grades 1-5

From the Book Jacket: Chloe doesn't really know why she turns away from the new girl, Maya, when Maya tries to befriend her. And every time Maya asks if she can play with Chloe and the other girls, the answer is always no. So Maya ends up playing alone. And then one day she's gone. 

When Chloe's teacher gives a lesson about how even small acts of kindness can change the world, Chloe is stung by the opportunity that's been lost. How much better could it have been if she'd just shown Maya a little kindness and opened her heart to friendship?

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is going to be one of the most important books I read to students this year. It will definitely be one of my favorites. It came in the mail this morning and I just had to blog about it today because it is a MUST for your bookshelf.

This is a powerful story PACKED FULL of life lessons. A new student Maya is treated horribly by her classmates. She tries making friends with the other students but is rejected and becomes a target because of her economic status. Students will feel sadness as you read this story - because they will be filled with an overwhelming empathy for Maya. In the end, we never know the full damage that may have been caused to Maya because she moves. We can surely guess though. However, it's Chloe who teaches us the lesson. She had shunned Maya but is filled with guilt, remorse, and emotional pain as she becomes aware of her own hurtful behavior. She is never able to make amends. I cannot wait for the discussion this will create. If we can teach our children to live their lives in complete kindness - hopefully they will not have to learn this lesson the hard way.

What an AMAZING teaching tool!

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Book Review: The Weird Series

Weird! Dare! Tough!
by Erin Frankel, illustrated by Paula Heaphy
Book Website: www.theweirdseries.com
Publisher: Free Spirit
Interest Level: K and Up

True-to-life stories of bullying told from all perspectives: the role of the target, the bystander, and the person doing the bullying.

These three books tell the story of an ongoing case of bullying from three third graders’ perspectives. Luisa describes being targeted by bullying in Weird! Jayla shares her experience as a bystander to bullying in Dare! And in Tough!, Sam speaks from the point of view of someone initiating bullying. Kids will easily relate to Luisa, Jayla, and Sam, as each girl has her own unique experience, eventually learning how to face her challenges with the help of friends, peers, and caring adults. The books may be read separately or as a set; readers will enjoy tracking details that carry over from one book to another. Each book concludes with "activity club" pages for kids, as well as information to help parents, teachers, counselors, and other adults reinforce the books' messages and foster dialogue with children.

Weird! (Book 1)
Luisa is repeatedly teased and called "weird" by her classmate Sam, even though she is simply being herself—laughing with her friends, answering questions in class, greeting her father in Spanish, and wearing her favorite polka-dot boots. Luisa initially reacts to the bullying by withdrawing and hiding her colorful nature. But with the support of her teachers, parents, classmates, and one special friend named Jayla, she is able to reclaim her color and resist Sam’s put-downs.

Dare! (Book 2)
Jayla feels threatened by her classmate Sam, who has bullied her in the past for her "nerdy" love of astronomy and stars. Sam is now bullying Jayla’s friend Luisa, and she enlists Jayla to participate. Jalya reluctantly joins in but soon realizes it is wrong. With the help of caring adults and friends, Jayla comes to sympathize with Luisa and finds the courage to dare to stand up to Sam and put an end to the bullying.


 Tough! (Book 3)
Sam is concerned about keeping things orderly and "cool" at school. She thinks people need to have a tough skin in order to fit in and withstand others’ meanness and lack of cooperation. Sam teases her free-spirited classmate Luisa and enlists a friend, Jayla, to help. But when Sam is confronted by a concerned teacher about her bullying, and Jayla turns on Sam and befriends Luisa, Sam begins to show some heart and rethink her treatment of others.

Why They Are On My Bookshelf: These books are already so dear to my heart. Author Erin Frankel and illustrator Paula Heaphy have created a masterpiece through the viewpoints of the victim, bystander, and bully. I had the opportunity to read this unique series to students before the school year wrapped up. They were all captivated by the stories of three girls involved in bullying. It was obvious through our discussion their hearts and minds were very moved. Everyone has had a role or involvement in bullying and kids could see themselves in the books.

As a school counselor, I want to reach students at a deeper level when it comes to the serious issue of school bullying. This perfectly crafted story is the vehicle to do just that. I can't tell you how impressed I am with this series. The first day I read them, I knew I had something special in my hands. Students are given valuable insight into how to get out of a bullying situation and make positive changes through confidence, courage, and kindness. I cannot wait to reread these in the fall. They are truly awesome and so impactful!

A Link to The Series:
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Book Review: You're Mean, Lily Jean!


Author: Frieda Wishinsky
Illustrator: Kady MacDonald Denton
Publisher: Albert Whitman
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

From the Book Jacket: When Lily Jean moves in next door, sisters Carly and Sandy are happy to have a new friend join their game. But Lily Jean changes everything. She decides they'll play house and orders Carly to be the baby. When they play king and queen, King Lily Jean tells Carly to be the royal dog! Tired of being bossed around, Carly comes up with a way to teach Lily Jean a lesson. With Sandy's help, can she turn a bully into a friend?

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Well, my 2011 favorites list just grew again! I am very passionate about the name of my blog because of books just like this one. I spend hours hunting for the ones with teachable moments that help children learn important social skills. Every K-3 class I read this to benefited in their friendships, sibling relationships, and helped curb bullying behavior.

There is a whole lot of bossing around going on in the story. Lily Jean is on a power trip and her behavior got a ton of disapproval from students. Carly is picked on because she is the little sister and Lily Jean wants to have Sandy all to herself. But what blessed my heart was how sweet and caring big sister Sandy is to Carly. She sticks up for her. It was a great stopping point to talk about how we need to look out for our siblings and make sure they are being treated with kindness. Carly sticks up for herself too and lets Lily Jean know she can hang with her and Sandy if she is nice. That's their friendship rule for Lily Jean. Stop being bossy and start being nice or go play alone. Lots of kids need to hear this truth. It's okay to say NO to bad behavior. Looking forward to reading this one to my own kiddo.  

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Book Review: Bird Child


Author: Nan Forler
Illustrator: Francois Thisdale
Author/Book Website: www.nanforler.com
Interest Level: Ages 6-9

From the Book Jacket: The boy lifted a mitten-load of snow and smushed it into Lainey's face, wiping away what was left of the smile she'd had on her first day of school. Eliza said nothing. She stood like a statue with her boots sinking deeper and deeper into the snow, her voice as dry as a mouthful of wool, and watched it happen.

Eliza desperately wants to help the new girl, Lainey, when a group of children pick on her in the schoolyard. But like so many people who witness bullying, Eliza feels afraid and powerless to help. As the sun disappears from Lainey's beautiful paintings and the little girl becomes more and more alone, Eliza does find a way to pass along the gifts her own mother has given her - "wings to fly" and the ability to see the wonderful possibilities that lie before her. Then in an act of courage, Eliza spreads those wings and stands up to the bullies. One by one, the other children add their voices, and soon the bullies have skulked away. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Just when I had given up my search for GOOD (there's only a few out there, friends) books tackling the issue of bystanders - a beautiful story landed in my lap. I'm predicting you will be hearing more and more about Bird Child as it's popularity will certainly rise among school counselors, teachers, and parents. I have immediately built it into my curriculum. There are kids just like Eliza at my school who needed the boost from Nan Forler's book giving them permission to say no to unkind behavior.

Eliza's mom wisely says, "Look down and see what is. Now look up and see what can be." I took the time to make sure the kids understood those words - You have the power to change a situation, a life, a bully problem! This is the first year I've spent more time focusing on the bystanders at my school. It's been time well spent. I'm seeing more empathy, invites to play, faster action to bully behavior, and less exclusion. Don't pass this one up. We are all facing the same issues at our schools, I can see this book appreciated by students everywhere.

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Book Review: The Juice Box Bully: Empowering Kids to Stand Up for Others


  

Authors: Bob Sornson and Maria Dismondy
illustrated by Kimberly Shaw
Interest Level: Ages 6-9

From The Book Jacket: Have you ever seen a bully in action and done nothing about it? Instead of being bystanders, the kids at Pete's new school get involved. When the juice box mess becomes more than just a dirty shirt, Pete's classmates teach him about "The Promise." Will Pete decide to shed his bullying habits and make "The Promise"?

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Bystander. If you've ever used a bullying curriculum then you've seen that word. Over the years I've REALLY struggled (translation = awful lessons) finding a decent lesson plan or book to explain this term to kids and what it means in the world of bullying. Maybe you've had this problem too. Well, look no further! Juice Box Bully is an awesome new book to my shelf and has already made quite a presence in classrooms. Those days of awful bystanders lessons are over!

It's always rewarding to look at the students and see how much they're relating to a story. Lots for them to soak up in this one. The language is not overdone, it makes concrete sense. "And, I'm not a bystander," Ralph said. "I don't stand by and let mean things happen." Nothing greater then reading a book with EMPOWERED kids in it. "The Promise" is what empowers them to do the right thing when it comes to bullying. It's a pledge to stand up to bad behavior. The first line is, "I WILL speak up instead of acting as a bystander."  Love it. One student asked me, "Do we have "The Promise" at our school?" We definitely have a pledge but it's not specific to bullying. Inspired me as the school counselor to get on it!

I also pointed out how, Pete, the new kid was using bullying behavior his first few days of school but kids didn't turn him into an outcast or label him for life. They all took "The Promise" and were committed to helping him become a caring classmate. They didn't judge him, even in the midst of a conflict.

So the next time I use the word bystander in a real life situation with kids, they'll know what I mean and remember their own promise. Check out the book trailer at author Maria Dismondy's website. Maria has also written Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun (review to come) and she has a facebook page!  

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Book Review: The Hundred Dresses

Author: Eleanor Estes
Illustrator: Louis Slovodkin
Interest Level: Ages 9-12

From The Book Jacket: Wanda wears the same faded blue dress to school every day - yet she says she has one hundred beautiful dresses at home, "all lined up." The other girls don't believe it, and when Peggy starts a daily game of teasing Wanda about the hundred dresses, everyone joins in. Maddie, Peggy's best friend goes along with the game, but she secretly wonders whether she can find the courage to speak up in Wanda's defense.

It's not until Wanda fails to come to school one day that her classmates learn the truth about the hundred dresses - and Maddie and Peggy learn the meaning of kindness and generosity of spirit.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is a solid resource I use with my bullying curriculum for grades 3-5. Some children are relentlessly picked on. I am usually part of the healing process when it comes time for apologies and making amends in these situations. But what if you don't get the chance to say you're sorry? The Hundred Dresses is a stand out read in my opinion because of the remorse factor in one of the characters. She feels awful about her behavior. I live for the discussion this draws out of students. There's a bit of a mean girls theme going on in the story. It is so sad to see a group mess with someone's feelings. Often times, those participating don't want to be part of the teasing and deep down wish they could put a stop to it. The Hundred Dresses speaks directly to those students. There is an energy in the room when we finish reading. It's a story that increases kindness, empathy, and making amends with those we have injured. I also see groups forming in 4-5 grades so this helps me break down those "clique" barriers. PS. This is a true story!

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Book Review: Nobody Knew What To Do - A Story About Bullying

Author: Becky Ray McCain
Illustrated by Todd Leonardo
Interest Level: Ages 6-10


Publisher's Note: Straightforward and simple, this story tells how one child found the courage to tell a teacher about Ray, who was being picked on and bullied by other kids in school. Faced with the fact that "nobody knows what to do" while Ray is bullied, the children sympathetic to him feel fear and confusion and can only hope that Ray will "fit in some day." Finally, after Ray misses a day of school and the bullies plot mean acts for his return, our narrator goes to a teacher. The children then invite Ray to play with them, and, with adult help, together they stand up to the bullies.


Why It's On My Bookshelf: I cannot imagine what my bookshelf would be like without this book. I read it in the beginning of the school year and once again after winter break. Nobody Knew What To Do encourages kids to report bullying when they see it happening. I also love the title. I will ask kids: 'Do you know what to do?' And they passionately respond 'yes'. There is a powerful message to kids within the pages. One of those messages is the adults will back you up! I get so sad when kids keep bullying a secret and don't report it. Put this on your shelf to help break the silence.



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Book Review: Say Something




Author: Peggy Moss
Illustrator: Lea Lyon

Interest Level: Ages 5-12  


About This Book: Say Something has become an anchor text for bullying prevention campaigns around the country. A young girl initially feels satisfied that she does not participate when she witnesses teasing. When the teasing turns on her, she decides she can no longer be a bystander. The final page of the story in which she talks to the girl who sits alone on the bus affirms small, every-day actions as part of social change. The illustrations in this book present children of many skin tones and body types--among the most beautifully illustrated and true to life portrayals of a diverse student body.

Why It's On My Bookshelf:  When I grew up, it wasn't very popular to tell adults about bully problems. During bus rides home from school I was often picked on by older students, not once did I tell my parents. And not once did anyone stick up for me. I wonder what those bus rides would have been like if my teachers or parents would have read me a powerful picture book like Say Something. I'm imagining I would have had the courage to put a stop to the bullies on the bus. This book teaches kids to not be a bystander and to stick up for oneself and others, in other words SAY SOMETHING. I've seen a positive impact on our student population through the use of this book. More kids are speaking up and not keeping bullying a secret. Parents, counselors, and teachers need to read Say Something to open up lines of communication, kids need to know it's okay to SAY SOMETHING. Learn more about author Peggy Moss and her other book Our Friendship Rules at Say Something Now.

Suggestions on how to use Say Something

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Book Review: Not My Fault

Author: Leif Kristiansson
Illustrator: Dick Stenberg
Interest Level: Grades 2-6


From the Book Jacket: The collective memories of childhood will always include the scene of a classmate being bullied and victimized. In such a situation, do we choose to stand up and protect him or her? Do we watch silently from the sidelines? Or do we join the ranks of the bullies? This book is written from the perspective of schoolyard interactions, intended to stimulate thought on the matter of "responsibility." the simply worded narration ends with a question, leaving the reader room for reflection.


Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is a powerful, impactful, little book. It has really empowered kids to report bullying, especially physical bullying.  One of the things I notice when I read Not My Fault is how silent the students become. Each page shows the same child, who is being picked on, with an audience of kids standing by doing nothing. My students were very bothered that a child is being targeted. I feel unity in the room when we finish reading this one. A lot of discussion and feelings come up followed by solutions on how to stop cruel behavior. Don't pass up on this book, your kids will thank you for educating them on how to break the silence. 

PS. Don't freak out about the last few pages with the realistic pictures of what can happen when bullying reaches a larger scale. I don't show those pages to the kids. If you are a parent, go for it. In a classroom setting it's a little trickier.


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