Books That Heal Kids: death and grief

Showing posts with label death and grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death and grief. Show all posts

Book Review: Henry and Bea

Author/Illustrator: Jessixa Bagley

From the Book Jacket: Henry and Bea have always been inseparable...until one day Henry suddenly stops talking to Bea. He won't chat with her in class, and he won't sit with her at lunch. Bea can tell something's going on, and she's determined to find out what it is. 

Then, during a class field trip to a farm, Henry finds something...something that makes it impossible for him to keep his feelings inside anymore. And even though it's hard for them both, Bea is there for Henry, as his best friend, no matter what. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This was my favorite book this past year. It is such a beautiful story on being a supportive friend. Henry's cat dies and he is suffering in silence. Bea shows how important it is to continue to be a caring force even when we don't know what is wrong. Eventually it comes to light what has happened to his cat and Bea validates his feelings "it's hard to lose a friend." She respects his need to grieve in private by not sharing with the class his feelings. There are many books on losing pets but this is the first one showing us how to be a caring friend in the process. Loved it!

A Link to This Book: 

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Book Review: Grandpa's Stories - A Book of Remembering

Author: Joseph Coelho 
Illustrator: Allison Colpoys

From the Book Jacket: There's nothing more special than spending time with Grandpa...exploring fields and parks, fixing up old toys, and -- best of all -- listening to Grandpa's stories. But, this year, a loving granddaughter needs to say goodbye to her favorite relative. How will she keep Grandpa's memory alive when he is no longer there? An honest and poetic depiction of loss, Grandpa's stories shows how losing a loved one can be an invitation to celebrate life. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This was a nice book to share with our daughter. She talks a lot about her great grandma who is no longer with us and it allowed her to see grief through another child's eyes. Kids grieve differently than adults and I think having resources around to help ease their sadness can bring comfort. Glad I picked this one up!

A Link to This Book: 

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Book Review: The Rough Patch

Author/Illustrator: Brian Lies

From the Book Jacket: Evan and his dog do everything together. They play and read and eat. But mostly you will find them tending to Evan's extraordinary garden, where flowers and other good things flourish and reach for the sky. 

But friends don't always stay forever, and when Evan loses his, he destroys the place that meant the most to them, and creates something to match his mood. Something ugly and twisted, sad and stubborn, ragged and rough - and he likes it that way. Until one day...

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is about healing a broken heart after the loss of a pet. Or truly after any loss you experience. During his grief process Evan experiences a very bitter anger which he takes out on his beloved garden. He slashes his garden to the ground - a representation of how he feels on the inside. Eventually a growing vine in the garden helps Evan to see that the heart can begin to heal. 

Such a heartfelt story that reminds us there is hope after a loss and we can begin to heal. Happiness is still available........ 

A Link to This Book: 
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Book Review: One Wave at a Time - A Story About Grief and Healing


Author: Holly Thompson
Illustrator: Ashley Crowley

From the Book Jacket: After his father dies, Kai experiences all kinds of emotions: sadness, anger, fear, guilt. Sometimes they crash and mix together. Other times, there are no emotions at all—just flatness. As Kai and his family adjust to life without Dad, the waves still roll in. But with the help of friends and one another, they learn to cope—and, eventually, heal. A lyrical story about grieving for anyone encountering loss.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is a solid resource for families experiencing a family death. I love how the book shows Kai and his family going to a grief support group with other families. He also makes a grief first aid kit and memory boxes of special belonging that were his dads. Also, the metaphor of the waves as feelings and dealing with grief is a real asset for art therapy as a tool. I highly recommend this one!

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Book Review: Finn's Feather

Author: Rachel Noble
Illustrator: Zoey Abbott

From the Book Jacket: One day, Finn discovers an amazing white feather right on his doorstep. It's obviously from Hamish, his brother who is now an angel. He's sure of it. Finn excitedly tells his mom, but she just takes a deep breath and gives him a big hug. He also tells his teacher, who gives him a big smile. Why aren't they excited, too? The feather is amazing! Fortunately, his friend Lucas gets it. Hamish wants Finn to have fun with the feather! What follows is a grand day of fun and friendship, inspired by the best brother ever. 

Why It's on My Bookshelf:
I once heard someone say that in America we do not do a good job of talking about grief. That it is a taboo subject. I am ever so grateful when I come across books like Finn's Feather. It teaches us that a death does not have to become something we are not allowed to talk about. The spirit of a person lives on in many ways. I like how Finn still finds his brother's essence in a feather. That he knows his brother would want him to keep being happy and live his life. This is a very special book that opens doors to conversations that might be uncomfortable. 


A Link to This Book: 
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Book Review: Always Remember


Author: Cece Meng
Illustrator: Jago
Interest Level: Ages 3 and Up

From the Book Jacket: After Old Turtle swims his last swim and breathes his last breath, and the waves gently take him away, his friends lovingly remember how he impacted each and every one of them. As the sea animals think back on how much better Old Turtle made their lives and their world, they realize that he is not truly gone, because his memory and legacy will last forever. This is a picture book that will comfort those who have lost a loved one. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is definitely at the top of my list for books to assist children with grief. It really focuses on what a wonderful life Old Turtle had because he was such a generous and loving soul. We can be sad when we lose someone but also be so comforted by all of our positive interactions and encounters we had with them. I kept thinking of the word "cherish" as we read each page. 

I love the last page: 
He was a wonderful teacher and friend. 
He loved to laugh and have fun. 
He explored the unknown and discovered great things. 
He showed kindness and strength. 
And he made his world a better place. 
When he was done, the ocean took him back. 
But what he left behind was only the beginning.

This is a very helpful resource and I'm so happy to have it on my shelf. 

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Useful: 
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Book Review: Ida Always


Author: Caron Levis
Illustrator: Charles Santoso
Interest Level: Ages 4 and Up

From the Book Jacket: Gus lives in a big park in the middle of an even bigger city, and he spends his days with Ida. Ida is right there. Always. Then one sad day, Gus learns that Ida is very sick, and she isn't going to get better. 

The friends help each other face the difficult news with whispers, sniffles, cuddles, and even laughs. Slowly, Gus realizes that even after Ida is gone, she will still be with him - through the sounds of their city, and the memories that live in their favorite spots. 

Ida, Always is an exquisitely told story of two best friends - inspired by a real bear friendship - and a gentle, moving, needed reminder that loved ones lost will stay in our hearts, always.



Why It's On My Bookshelf: This book captures the journey of loss so perfectly. Especially how much it hurts. You go through all kinds of emotions with both bears as the story leads up to Ida's passing. Love and caring for one another is emphasized as they deal with the devastating prognosis. That's how they get through it, by trying to be positive and helpful and taking advantage of every minute they have together. In the end, even though Ida is physically gone, her presence is often felt by Gus. The ending reminds us that closure is part of the journey. If you have a child who is experiencing loss or has been told a loved one is going to die - this is a solid and comforting resource to use. Reminded me that it's going to be okay......

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:
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Book Review: What Happens When A Loved One Dies? Our First Talk About Death

Author: Dr. Jillian Roberts
Illustrator: Cindy Revell
Interest Level: Ages 4 and Up
Book Series: Just Enough Series

From the Book Jacket: It can be difficult to know how to talk with children about death, whether they are experiencing grief and loss for the first time, or simply curious. Child Psychologist Dr. Jillian Roberts created the Just Enough series to empower parents and caregivers to start conversations with little ones about challenging subject matter. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Kids have a lot of questions about death and dying. I thought this was a really informative book to help give children real answers and also comfort. 

Questions asked: What does death mean? Do people die too? What happens when someone dies? What happens to the person who has died? Where does that person go? What is a soul? Where does the soul go after a person dies? What is the afterlife? Will I ever see the person I love again? Why do I feel so sad? What can I do to feel better?

So happy to have this new recommendation for parents and children. 

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:
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Book Review: Always By My Side

Author: Susan Kerner
Illustrator: Ian P Benfold Haywood
Interest Level: Ages 5 and Up

From the Book Jacket: Always By My Side is a comforting rhyming story written to help children understand that a father's love is forever, even if they grow up without his presence in their lives. 

This gentle, beautifully illustrated book conveys the heart-warming message to children that even though a father is absent, he is still part of them. They will realize that they are like him in character, looks and actions; that his spirit surrounds them in their day-to-day activities, and helps to make them who they are. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Just beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I held this book to my heart after I read it. Children will feel solace and the words will console the hurt and loss they feel. The loss of a parent is devastating but they are always by your side in spirit. Such great wisdom to share with children as they journey through their lives. So pleased to offer this to families in need of grief bibliotherapy. 

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:

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Book Review: Knock Knock - My Dad's Dream for Me

Knock Knock: My Dad's Dream For Me
Author: Daniel Beaty
Illustrator: Bryan Collier

From the Book Jacket: Every morning, I play a game with my father. He goes KNOCK KNOCK on my door, and I pretend to be asleep till he gets right next to the bed. And my papa, he tells me, "I love you."

But what happens when, one day, that KNOCK KNOCK doesn't come? This powerful and inspiring book shows the love that an absent parent can leave behind, and the strength that children find in themselves as they grow up and follow their dreams.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is the one of the most powerful books I've read all year. There are many children in my school dealing with an absent parent. Their pain is real and very present. Can you imagine carrying that around all day? Knock Knock My Dad's Dream For Me tells kids they don't have to let this emotional baggage drag them down. They can knock down the doors and open new ones to their dreams. They can become their best and have a bright, beautiful future. The last few pages are full of these inspirational words with such touching illustrations of a father and son embracing had me teary.....but hopeful as a counselor that I can offer love and light though such a healing book.




At the end of the book Author Daniel Beaty gives the reader insight as to why he wrote this book. I'm forever changed because of it. Daniel, thank you for opening your heart so that so many others could be opened too.

Author's Note
When I was a small child, my father was my principal caregiver. While my mother was at the office working, my father would change my diapers, feed me, and let me ride on his shoulders to the grocery store. He also woke me up each morning with our private Knock Knock game. When I was three, he was incarcerated. My mother took me to visit him in prison, and he was behind glass. This experience was traumatic for me, and I was not allowed to visit my father again in prison for many years. As I grew older, I became aware of the tremendous void created by my father's absence. On my journey to adulthood, I realized how important it was for me to address the pain created by this separation. Later, as an educator of small children, I discovered how many of my students were also dealing with the loss of a father from incarceration, divorce, or sometimes even death. This experience prompted me to tell the story of this loss from a child's perspective and also to offer hope that every fatherless child can still create the most beautiful life possible.

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:


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Book Review: Missing Mommy - A Book About Bereavement

Author/ Illustrator: Rebecca Cobb
Interest Level: Ages 3 and Up

From the Book Jacket: With warmth, reassurance, and empathy, Missing Mommy addresses the loss of a parent from a child's point of view. This touching story explores the many emotions a  bereaved child may experience, from anger and guilt to sadness and bewilderment. Ultimately, Missing Mommy focuses on the positive - the recognition that the child is not alone but is still part of a living, supportive family. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: As a counselor I am very familiar with the stages of grief. As I read Missing Mommy, I felt like author Rebecca Cobb was taking me through them. This is a book for the child who wants to open up and it's also for the child who needs to be silently validated. The story has a compassionate feeling as it describes heartache, anger, sadness, and finally acceptance surrounding the death of a parent. But I will always remember her. I know how special I was to my mommy and she will always be special to me. Extremely happy to have this as a new resource for children and families.

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:
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Book Review: Rabbityness

Author/Illustrator: Jo Empson
Interest Level: Ages 5 and Up

From the Book Jacket: This is a story of a very special rabbit. He enjoys doing rabbity things, but he also loves - well, un-rabbity things. His boundless creative talent is a source of joy and inspiration to the other rabbits. 

When Rabbit suddenly disappears, no one knows where he has gone. His friends are desolate. But, as it turns out, Rabbit has left behind some very special gifts for them, to help them discover their own unrabbity talents. Rabbityness positively introduces children to dealing with a loss of any kind. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Sometimes I get requests from parents or teachers for books dealing with very specific grief situations. If I can't find the perfect fit from my bookshelf I definitely feel frustrated. Rabbityness is a really special story I can use to cover a lot of different grief or tragedy situations. Rabbit disappears in the story - but no one knows why or what happened to him. I like that there's no answer as to what happened because I can help the child relate their own story to Rabbit.

"One day. Rabbit disappeared. The other rabbits were very sad. They couldn't find him anywhere. The woods were quiet and gray. All that Rabbit had left was a hole...a DEEP dark hole."

Wow. The deep dark hole can represent a lot of different feelings for children. The second part of the story shows the other rabbits learning how to cope with their loss. What I see as a healing step for kids is to talk about how to fill the void they might be feeling. What coping skills could they use to fill that deep dark hole.......

Absolutely love this one and see it HELPING me as a counselor and the grieving children I work with throughout the year.

A Link to This Book:
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Book Review: Following Grandfather

Author: Rosemary Wells
Illustrated by Christopher Denise
Interest Level: Ages 8 and Up
Chapter Book with illustrations

From the Book Jacket: When Jenny was little, Grandfather taught her how to button her buttons and how to write for her name. When she was a little older, Grandfather took her to try on the expensive dresses at the stylish Mouse Boutique, hidden deep in the ductwork of the Jordan Marsh department store. And during long summer afternoons at Revere Beach, Grandfather taught Jenny the names of seashells. 

But one day Grandfather was gone. Every mouse in Boston, including Jenny, went to his funeral high in the belfry of the cathedral. So how can it be that Jenny begins to spot Grandfather about town - turning a corner, sitting on a park bench? Could it really be that Grandfather is still out there somewhere, roaming the city he loved? Jenny can't help but run after the familiar silver whiskers, hoping...

Why It's On My Bookshelf: What a special find. So many children who have lost a grandparent will benefit from reading this book. Sometimes in my own life I will see something or even smell something that reminds me of my grandma. It makes me smile and is a reminder of how much I miss her. I have to admit this book even got me a little teary. Remembering a grandparent can make a child sad but also brings up all the wonderful happy times. Be prepared for lots of share outs and discussion. What an honor to read such a touching and healing story to children. I have a feeling this will be a heavily checked out book from my shelf.

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Book Reviews: New Ones on Death of a Pet

The Day Tiger Rose Said Goodbye
Author: Jane Yolen
Illustrated by Jim LaMarche
Publisher: Random House Books for Young Readers
Interest Level: Ages 4 and Up

From the Book Jacket: Her kitten days long gone, Tiger Rose has lived a cat's life. She's growing too tired to stay, so it's time to say goodbye to the creatures and the joys in her little corner of the world - goodbye to the scolding blue jay, to the children and dog she shares her home with, and to her favorite shady patch under the bushes. Tiger Rose is ready to become one with it all. 

Never before has there been such a peaceful, inspiring, and reassuring book for children about death - uniquely written from the point of view of the one who is dying, and as much a celebration of life as of its gentle end. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is so beautifully written. I cried (and cried), as I finished the last couple pages. This is a book you will want to read with your child - and you will cry too. When I was younger and saw my mom cry about sad experiences, it modeled to me the importance of letting the grief out. So don't be afraid to grieve in front of your children. This story will most certainly trigger the sadness you both will be feeling after the loss of a pet. But it will also help trigger the healing.

Sammy in the Sky
Author: Barbara Walsh
Paintings by Jamie Wyeth
Publisher: Candlewick Press
Interest Level: Ages 4 and Up

From the Book Jacket: Sammy, the best hound dog in the whole wide world, loves his girl and she loves him. When illness cuts Sammy's life short, the girl's family keeps his spirit alive by celebrating his love of chasing wind-blown bubbles, keeping loyal guard a night, and offering his velvety fur for endless pats and tummy scratches.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: I am not a fan of books about pet death that end with the whole family replacing their beloved pet with a new one. I think it does a disservice to the grief process. I am a fan of books showing the love and memories we will always have when a pet passes. This is why I loved Sammy in the Sky so much. It doesn't take the easy way out. It helps kids to focus on all the wonderful special moments pets bring to our lives. It teaches kids to remember them in their hearts. "All I knew was that I loved Sammy and Sammy loved me." It's about love.

Good-Bye, Jeepers: What to Expect When Your Pet Dies
Author: Nancy Loewen
Illustrated by Christopher Lyles
Publisher: Capstone Publishing
Interest Level: Ages 4 and Up

From the Book Jacket: When a pet dies, it can feel like you lost your best friend. What do you do? Whether you had a guinea pig, dog, cat, or fish, this story can help you through the tough times.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Absolutely loved this one. It is so developmentally appropriate. As the story unfolds, each page has a little blurb teaching children about the grieving process. I've read 'technical' books like this before but this one is SOLID. This is also about the loss of a guinea pig. But I think whether you lose a dog or a cat this is a good one to do some teaching about grieving. I once asked a group of 3rd graders after a loss, "Have you ever heard of the word grief?" No one raised their hand. It's amazing how empowered and connected they felt as I guided them through the process. It would have been a missed opportunity for them to grow if I would have just swept the teaching piece under the rug. They have the desire to learn and be educated about grief. It's helpful for them to know what they are feeling is perfectly fine - even though it may be difficult. 

A Link To These Books:

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Book Reviews: Sky Memories and Rudi's Pond

Sky Memories
Author: Pat Brisson
Paintings by Wendell Minor
Interest Level: Ages 9-12 (not a picture book)

From the Book Jacket: "The year before my mother died, we gathered sky memories." So begins this poignant tale of a daughter who is forced to say goodbye to her mother too soon. Emily is ten years old when her mother is diagnosed with cancer. By the time Emily has turned eleven, her mother will have died. But through the painful last months of their life together, Emily and mom find a way to celebrate and commemorate their relationship. Together they take mental pictures of the sky in all its variety and wonder - the sky that seems to reflect the phases of Mom's illness and the vitality of her soul. Sensitive and insightful, Sky Memories gracefully conveys the heartbreak of loss and, ultimately, the comfort of memory.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: It's extremely difficult to find WELL WRITTEN HEALING grief bibliotherapy for this age group. Thank goodness for authors like Pat Brisson. She's done something incredible with Sky Memories for kids who are coping with a great loss. All of the difficult emotions and hard questions are tackled in this story. Emily goes through anger, sadness, denial, and acceptance.

Emily asks some very honest questions to her mother like, 'Are you going to die? Are you afraid of dying? Why doesn't God answer my prayers.' Pat Brisson doesn't try to make the hard parts "pretty" for your reading pleasure. I thank her for that. And I'll admit, even as a counselor it's hard to read this story because I know kids go through this.

What really blessed me about this story is when Emily gets angry after her mother's death, "There were bottles of pills on the nightstand. I carefully lined them up in a perfectly straight row along the edge of the table. I flicked the first one off the edge. It fell to the floor with a familiar rattle and thud. I flicked the next one harder and it fell harder from the table. The next one I batted with my hand and it flew halfway across the room. The last three I gathered up and threw with all my might at the far wall. The plastic containers shattered and pills flew all over the room. I burst into tears." Wow. The message: Kids, you get to be angry about your loss! Everyone's anger is going to look different. Throwing the pills across the room didn't seem like an unhealthy way to cope. I sort of went...YES, throw those awful pills, Emily!

Don't try and look for or force closure when you read this book. Grief doesn't work that way. There is a beautiful acceptance and understanding that seems to rise from every page to the very last word. Highly recommend this one.


Rudi's Pond
Author: Eve Bunting
illustrated by Ronald Himler
Interest Level: Ages 5-9

From the Book Jacket: Rudi is my best friend. He and I made a feeder for hummingbirds out of a bottle and a straw. "They'll come for sure," Rudi says. "If I was a bird, I'd come." But Rudi is sick, and Mom says he is sinking. Sinking is hard to understand. It is terrible when Rudi dies. Everyone in school wants to create something wonderful so we can remember him. We decide to build a pond next to the big knobby oak in the schoolyard. The feeder Rudi and I made hangs from the oak, and one day a special hummingbird arrives...

Inspired by a true story. Eve Bunting has written a touching account of the hope a young girl finds after a devastating loss. Ronald Himler's soft watercolor palette beautifully captures the story's deep emotion.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: When we lost a student to an illness, I read this book to the class. Yep, we all cried. What we learned from Rudi's Pond was how we can continue to celebrate the memory of our beloved friend and student. Let me tell you, the loving and caring spirits of children are a magical thing. I've witnessed a lot of healing in children just from creating special memory boxes, cards, or even the planting of a tree in honor and gratitude.

Creating cards for Rudi when he is in the hospital.....
In this story, Rudi's classmates help to build a pond by a tree in his honor. Rudi's best friend also hangs a hummingbird feeder that reminds her of their friendship. She starts to see a hummingbird each day and it feels like a very special sign to her. Even though he is gone, the sign reminds her of his presence in her heart. Oh wow - now that is healing for kids to hear! 


This is a touching and beautiful story. Sometimes it's hard to talk about the, "Where do we go from here?" question. This has been more than helpful since the kids are looking to me for answers and hope. Peace. That's what we feel after reading Rudi's Pond.

A Link To These Books:
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Book Review: Grandma's Gloves

Author: Cecil Castellucci
Illustrator: Julia Denos
Interest Level: Ages 5-8

A Note From the Publisher: Grandma is always on her knees in the dirt, with her gardening gloves on, talking to her roses. Her home brims with plants and blossoms, and on hot days, she even waters the little girl in this story, her "most special flower of all," with the hose.

But a day comes when Grandma isn't there to care for the little girl anymore. She feels sad and small and alone until she remembers all that her grandmother taught her- and all that she has to teach. Full of light and life and the solace of green, growing things, this moving and beautifully illustrated picture book explores a timeless bond with warmth and joy.

Hello, Gorgeous Illustrations!
Why It's On My Bookshelf: I couldn't help but to tear up while reading this. It is such BEAUTIFUL bibliotherapy. When I was a child, I would have wanted to read this to help with grief. It's the type of life lesson that puts a smile on your face when you close the book. There is so much we can teach children about what they can do with the memories they have of a grandparent. Author Cecil Castellucci reminds us to take these gifts and wisdom and keep passing them on. In Grandma's Gloves the little girl appreciates her Grandma's adoration of gardening. Her memories are filled with Grandma working in her garden and always having her gloves nearby. A relationship and bond formed out of this hobby. It's the connection to her Grandma. Who knew a pair of garden gloves could mean so much to a little girl. They mean so much that she wants to keep the tradition alive...so lovely.

It got me thinking about a set of bowls I have in my kitchen. When my own Grandmother passed away they were given to me. I love them because of the meaning behind them. They remind me of the memories of the wonderful meals she would make us on Sundays.

My Grandma's Bowls
Although it's sad she's not around to make us her yummy German recipes, I take comfort in having the bowls in my home. And when I use them - it's very special to me....just like the gloves in the book.

This would be a wonderful read aloud to a classroom. Make sure to share your own memories and treasures from your grandparents.....

A Link to This Book:
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Book Review: Remembering Crystal

Author: Sebastian Loth
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

About This Book: Crystal had lived in the garden for many years. She was growing old. Zelda was just starting out in life. They were best friends. They read books together. They took trips together. And they talked about everything. But one day Crystal was not in the garden. In this gentle story, children learn, with Zelda, that true friendship is a gift that doesn't die. -from the book jacket

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is a very special little book. It's about having to let go of someone who has passed away....when we don't want to. Having to let go of the physical presence of a loved one is part of the grieving process. There is anger, sadness, and loneliness. Remembering Crystal gently explores this while also providing healing wisdom to children. We will always have the treasured memories to fill our hearts with joy and help ease those difficult feelings. We will always remember. It's how we honor and appreciate our loved one while also learning how to cope with the death. There is a lot to be said about focusing on the positive. The story is concrete and leaves enough room for parental/adult guidance.

A Link to This Book:
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